Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in we owe each other the world's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
1:15 am	short story emo shit Pegasus Dream The slushy snow cone sky seems to be bearing down on me as I walk home. I kick a few of the fall’s last papery leaves that have been sleeping in the gutter. Glamorous silver and red cars whip past me. The leaves float a few feet in the air like ghosts. I commiserate with these poor brown creatures, for I too am dead, only my death is internal. Alone in a quick paced world we are. My backpack makes me feel like a small horse is resting on my backside and I am pleased to see my home looming ahead. Large oak trees line our block, every house is virtually the same, with the exception of different color doors and a few yards scattered with tacky pink flamingos and lawn gnomes. Suburban paradise. My house is at the very end of the street. Very picturesque. Very welcoming. But very secretive. All along the block, gauzy shades cover the windows of these secretive houses, letting no mess spill out onto their perfectly manicured lawns. The fake smiles of their inhabitants give out no information to help us come to some conclusion of what the shades are suppressing, but even the shadows that swirl behind the plastic happiness aid our conclusion drawing. Even shadows tell a story, demented as it may be. It begins to rain as I approached our gate. Tiny little droplets splattering my threadbare sweater, liquid polka dots on my book bag. As the sprinkling transforms into heavy, fat droplets, then faster and harder, feeling like gravel on my cheeks, my eye glasses fog, making me stumble. But I don’t wear glasses, and it isn’t raining. It’s merely the condensation in my brain. I shake my head, wondering why the rain feels so real, and lift my middle and index finger to my cheek. Amazed, I find my cheek is wet. Standing there, in the middle of a seemingly perfect world to such a young untarnished girl, I let my tears run down my cheeks, tasting the salt on my lips and feeling the shudders wave over my back. A pink, lacy curtain is pulled back across the street. Slanted eyes watch my private moment, wondering why Laughter would not escape from my lips in such a perfect place. Why does this girl Weep so? She must wonder. She is new to our perfect world, grown up in a small poverty-stricken neighborhood on the other side of town. Heaven on earth, she must think. She still finds the lawn gnomes charming. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
1:13 am	Getaway Car You said that you could save me And y’know I still pay your damn rent, We are so estranged, you’n me And I just need to vent. Behind my assuring, confident smile A fog of thick despondency lies. And I feel me lose you by at least a mile As I remove my well-placed disguise. Nice to meet you for the very first time. The person you knew was made of nothing, Forget my two cents, I’ll give you a whole dime, Your handshake is so damn cold, and blustering With the normalcy of your common upbringing You leave me to it, my thoughts are flinging What more to this ill-fated relationship can I bring? Do I know something about anything? Chorus: You flaunt your joy To show my careworn eye. I’m just your toy, I feel a little bit shy And you tell me how much I’m lacking, Why’m I not loved the way you are? You’ve got my financial backing I’ve got my getaway car Back in the old days, In the days when I meant something, In the days that I was your friendly helping hand Not your cheap, reliable plaything. And you’re poisoning my mind, you know And I feel like I should get away But I turn and shut my mind’s window It’s cold in here, ok? Chorus Something keeps me chained to your side, I don’t think for my self at times like this With you here, there’s no place to hide Inside my head, there’s no hit, only miss And I try to absorb some of the warm love-rays Emitting from others to you It’s chilly over here, has been for all my days The shit you pull doesn’t exactly keep me content too But I deal, and I deal Because you have what I need I find it hard anymore to truly feel And you, my little predator Come more frequently to feed Chorus And I’m driving for days on my road of independence stolen In the car you leant me for a day And I hate you for being this way, the way you keep me in But more because it’s a getaway (Comment on this)
1:13 am	Heavy I want to give you more than you can take And let’s get lost in the moment for a few Let’s rush it all and make the mistake Of falling for each other for something new Chorus: And I feel heavy And I speak heavy And I see heavy And I hear heavy And I touch heavy And I love heavy And I love heavy And I know that this whole thing started as a joke But babe, I can’t let something this good die And as your sleepy grin flashed onto your face as you awoke Oh you’re so beautiful I sometimes think I could cry And when you’re happy, I’m happier And when you’re sad, I feel like shit But when you don’t care about me, I feel even crappier Do I have to plead with you to stay with me and just sit? The heaviness in my heart matches the times when I bear the brunt Last night when I told you I loved you You could do nothing but grunt Not to sound cliché, but you make me feel blue I turned away, and you turned up the TV Clearing my throat made you only shush But I want to see this positively It’ll only be a while before I can’t give this anymore push And I say that I love you But who’s for sure I can see it in your eyes too But you just want more I pretend your insensitivity To my feelings is cool But it’s a little distracting When I’m pouring my heart out To you Chorus When I think of the time committed, my eyes glaze You give so little to me, and I keep coming back for more of nothing. If you knew how much I love you, really you’d be amazed Wait, or would you be scoffing. See babe, I don’t know what you think But I guess I don’t know myself The heavier I get for you, the more I sink When I look into your eyes I can’t help but delve What I see scares me to tears Your eyes are always shiningly oblivious of me And I can’t quite approach my fears For I’m heavy in love you see Chorus (Comment on this)
1:12 am	very unfinished, I just started this one tonight and it has no content yet Right to the Death The confrontation always ends this way My apologies flooding the room If anything changed, if I spoke my mind Would the world be doomed? And you talk about your virtues Like you don’t even remember What you said last night Well do you ever? And you mean to tell me you don’t remember the way You twist my words And my arm One stone killing two birds But despite how demure I seem I can do what you can’t I can win, because I have the will And as far as the relationship goes, I wear the pants Quiet only goes so far When you’re warn out, I’ll still be ready And I’ll fight to the death I’ll go right to the death (Comment on this)
1:10 am	I don't even know what to call this thing... I need to completely revamp it When I can do nothing else, I create But you scoff at my drawings and prose. You see things set in their ways, And you don’t like the path I chose. We all are slaves of repetition Lynched by 4-years colleges and med. school And when someone breaks from the pack We rush to pull out the big book of rules. And owning the newest big fashion fad Is all that we discuss anymore, No politics, no world events, no health matters Anything important is just a bore. I sometimes wonder about the fate of this world Are we really doomed to hypocrisy and ignorance? We love to recapitulate, “live in the moment” Does anyone really care about our descendants? When we’ve lost our oxygen, our water, our space When we have only a dirt plot and pollution left I wonder, will we think twice about how we live now Or is it all about us, leave the rest. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 20th, 2003
1:13 am	my livejournal hates me, I tried to actually put that I live in Cotati, but its still says Sebastopol. I don't live in Sebastopol, although I wish I did. It's mocking me! Current Mood: cold Current Music: Adam and Eve - Ani DiFranco (Comment on this)